God, your parents were so indulgent of your aspirations. Not that mine held me back by any means, but I don't think my dad would even know the lyrics to anything from The King and I, let alone something obscure.
I guess there is a difference. You would have had a lot of fun with us then, if we'd known each other when we were younger. All the playdates we could have had to just sing on my basement stage. Though, I was a very bossy friend when I was young.
God, we might’ve killed each other. I don’t think I ever let anyone else take charge when I was planning games as a kid, definitely not if they involved singing.
Or maybe we would’ve just realized our budding star potential a lot sooner.
In all honesty, I probably would have found you incredibly intriguing, just like I did when we were teenagers. I was always fascinated by personalities as strong as my own.
I believe it was Holly Holiday who informed us. I was pretty embarrassed, but Ms. Pillsbury was in complete denial. But I think that was the stress of being a thirty year old married virgin.
Well, I was at the school. I wasn't enough entertainment at the school for you to stick around. Why do I feel like this is that thing we shouldn't talk about because it will just lead to a fight?
Well that killed my high. Joking. I mean sort of. I'm definitely more sober, but it's fine. Avoiding talking about things you're obviously upset about just because you're worried it'll get tense isn't the kind of dynamic I want in our relationship. You really think you weren't enough?
Or so prone to peer pressure. So was McKinley too boring for you, or were you just afraid of losing? You say a lot of things, some of them teasingly. You don't exactly make it easy to read your thoughts all the time. Let alone through text. But whatever it was, the bottom line was that at that time, I was not enough.
I never said I left because it was too boring, I just made a joke about things getting more exciting after I wasn't there anymore. I left because I was scared and I had my parents to please and Shelby telling me that I had to leave if I wanted to win. It wasn't just peer pressure. Peer pressure is what made me break up with you and that I'm even more sorry for than leaving. At least going back to Vocal Adrenaline was more of a scared kid thing, which is different. And also means that it had nothing to do with you being or not being enough. It implies there was something wrong with you or your character or that I cared about something else more. I didn't. I wasn't enough. I didn't have enough courage or strength. You were perfect.
[ Woah that's a lot to take in, and she's not sure how he means for it all to sound. Then he tells her she's perfect and she realizes that no he isn't mad at her in that wall of text. ]
I'm sorry Jesse, this is why I don't like talking about it, or bringing up those insecurities. I don't want you to feel bad or guilty or anything like that, because I know whatever it all was it was really hard on you. I guess I also just have all these insecurities that nag at me, especially when we joke about things. This wasn't a ploy to get you to call me perfect.
It's important, Rachel. Even if I feel guilty for hurting you like I did, it's not unbearable, and it shouldn't stop us from talking things out. I want you to be able to tell me how you're really feeling, I want you to feel like we can talk about anything. And I know it wasn't a ploy. I'm just saying the truth.
I guess that's fair. I don't like that I have residual feelings about it, and I want you to know I don't hold it against. I guess I just still blamed myself for some of it. A lot of it maybe. I know I can be a lot, and I spent a lot of time wondering how I could have kept. I think sometimes I worry history might repeat itself. But I never looked at it from the perspective that it might have been that you weren't strong enough then. And even if you weren't, it's understandable.
I will fully own up to being a weak little bitch, especially if it can make you see that none of it was your fault. It was a fucked up situation I"ve regretted ever since. I'm not going to let go of you ever again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Text;
Re: Text;
no subject
no subject
no subject
My dads had an entire basement set up for me for performances I would put on for the neighbors. My family knows showtunes, Even the obscure ones.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Or maybe we would’ve just realized our budding star potential a lot sooner.
Both?
no subject
I bet you would have hated me.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I still definitely think I would have annoyed you terribly.
no subject
TFLN overflow;
@goldstarlet
Mmm, but I always love hearing say it.
Reading you type it??? Whatever.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I sang that song with the The McKinley High celibacy club.
no subject
Tell me someone told you guys
Someone had to have told you gys
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Sorry I wasn't entertaining enough for you though.
no subject
no subject
Why do I feel like this is that thing we shouldn't talk about because it will just lead to a fight?
no subject
Joking. I mean sort of. I'm definitely more sober, but it's fine.
Avoiding talking about things you're obviously upset about just because you're worried it'll get tense isn't the kind of dynamic I want in our relationship.
You really think you weren't enough?
no subject
We probably shouldn't get into it with fucking on the table.
no subject
no subject
You know I don't like talking about it. We were dumb kids and it's in the past. Aren't we focused on moving forward?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
So was McKinley too boring for you, or were you just afraid of losing? You say a lot of things, some of them teasingly. You don't exactly make it easy to read your thoughts all the time. Let alone through text.
But whatever it was, the bottom line was that at that time, I was not enough.
no subject
I left because I was scared and I had my parents to please and Shelby telling me that I had to leave if I wanted to win. It wasn't just peer pressure. Peer pressure is what made me break up with you and that I'm even more sorry for than leaving. At least going back to Vocal Adrenaline was more of a scared kid thing, which is different.
And also means that it had nothing to do with you being or not being enough. It implies there was something wrong with you or your character or that I cared about something else more. I didn't.
I wasn't enough. I didn't have enough courage or strength.
You were perfect.
no subject
I'm sorry Jesse, this is why I don't like talking about it, or bringing up those insecurities. I don't want you to feel bad or guilty or anything like that, because I know whatever it all was it was really hard on you.
I guess I also just have all these insecurities that nag at me, especially when we joke about things.
This wasn't a ploy to get you to call me perfect.
no subject
And I know it wasn't a ploy. I'm just saying the truth.
no subject
I guess I just still blamed myself for some of it.
A lot of it maybe. I know I can be a lot, and I spent a lot of time wondering how I could have kept.
I think sometimes I worry history might repeat itself.
But I never looked at it from the perspective that it might have been that you weren't strong enough then. And even if you weren't, it's understandable.
no subject
It was a fucked up situation I"ve regretted ever since.
I'm not going to let go of you ever again.