I believe it was Holly Holiday who informed us. I was pretty embarrassed, but Ms. Pillsbury was in complete denial. But I think that was the stress of being a thirty year old married virgin.
Well, I was at the school. I wasn't enough entertainment at the school for you to stick around. Why do I feel like this is that thing we shouldn't talk about because it will just lead to a fight?
Well that killed my high. Joking. I mean sort of. I'm definitely more sober, but it's fine. Avoiding talking about things you're obviously upset about just because you're worried it'll get tense isn't the kind of dynamic I want in our relationship. You really think you weren't enough?
Or so prone to peer pressure. So was McKinley too boring for you, or were you just afraid of losing? You say a lot of things, some of them teasingly. You don't exactly make it easy to read your thoughts all the time. Let alone through text. But whatever it was, the bottom line was that at that time, I was not enough.
I never said I left because it was too boring, I just made a joke about things getting more exciting after I wasn't there anymore. I left because I was scared and I had my parents to please and Shelby telling me that I had to leave if I wanted to win. It wasn't just peer pressure. Peer pressure is what made me break up with you and that I'm even more sorry for than leaving. At least going back to Vocal Adrenaline was more of a scared kid thing, which is different. And also means that it had nothing to do with you being or not being enough. It implies there was something wrong with you or your character or that I cared about something else more. I didn't. I wasn't enough. I didn't have enough courage or strength. You were perfect.
[ Woah that's a lot to take in, and she's not sure how he means for it all to sound. Then he tells her she's perfect and she realizes that no he isn't mad at her in that wall of text. ]
I'm sorry Jesse, this is why I don't like talking about it, or bringing up those insecurities. I don't want you to feel bad or guilty or anything like that, because I know whatever it all was it was really hard on you. I guess I also just have all these insecurities that nag at me, especially when we joke about things. This wasn't a ploy to get you to call me perfect.
It's important, Rachel. Even if I feel guilty for hurting you like I did, it's not unbearable, and it shouldn't stop us from talking things out. I want you to be able to tell me how you're really feeling, I want you to feel like we can talk about anything. And I know it wasn't a ploy. I'm just saying the truth.
I guess that's fair. I don't like that I have residual feelings about it, and I want you to know I don't hold it against. I guess I just still blamed myself for some of it. A lot of it maybe. I know I can be a lot, and I spent a lot of time wondering how I could have kept. I think sometimes I worry history might repeat itself. But I never looked at it from the perspective that it might have been that you weren't strong enough then. And even if you weren't, it's understandable.
I will fully own up to being a weak little bitch, especially if it can make you see that none of it was your fault. It was a fucked up situation I"ve regretted ever since. I'm not going to let go of you ever again.
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Sorry I wasn't entertaining enough for you though.
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Why do I feel like this is that thing we shouldn't talk about because it will just lead to a fight?
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Joking. I mean sort of. I'm definitely more sober, but it's fine.
Avoiding talking about things you're obviously upset about just because you're worried it'll get tense isn't the kind of dynamic I want in our relationship.
You really think you weren't enough?
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We probably shouldn't get into it with fucking on the table.
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You know I don't like talking about it. We were dumb kids and it's in the past. Aren't we focused on moving forward?
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So was McKinley too boring for you, or were you just afraid of losing? You say a lot of things, some of them teasingly. You don't exactly make it easy to read your thoughts all the time. Let alone through text.
But whatever it was, the bottom line was that at that time, I was not enough.
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I left because I was scared and I had my parents to please and Shelby telling me that I had to leave if I wanted to win. It wasn't just peer pressure. Peer pressure is what made me break up with you and that I'm even more sorry for than leaving. At least going back to Vocal Adrenaline was more of a scared kid thing, which is different.
And also means that it had nothing to do with you being or not being enough. It implies there was something wrong with you or your character or that I cared about something else more. I didn't.
I wasn't enough. I didn't have enough courage or strength.
You were perfect.
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I'm sorry Jesse, this is why I don't like talking about it, or bringing up those insecurities. I don't want you to feel bad or guilty or anything like that, because I know whatever it all was it was really hard on you.
I guess I also just have all these insecurities that nag at me, especially when we joke about things.
This wasn't a ploy to get you to call me perfect.
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And I know it wasn't a ploy. I'm just saying the truth.
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I guess I just still blamed myself for some of it.
A lot of it maybe. I know I can be a lot, and I spent a lot of time wondering how I could have kept.
I think sometimes I worry history might repeat itself.
But I never looked at it from the perspective that it might have been that you weren't strong enough then. And even if you weren't, it's understandable.
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It was a fucked up situation I"ve regretted ever since.
I'm not going to let go of you ever again.